The Contemplative Crisis

Where do you experience  God’s salvation? Normally the question would be: “Do you know how God’s salvation is offered to you in Christ?”  Or another question might be: “Where were you when you were saved?” Both these questions focus on knowing and experiencing salvation at some point in the past. However, we live in the present and experience God in the present, including salvation. Salvation and healing/wholeness are sometimes used interchangeably in Luke’s gospel and this is how I would like to use this term although I understand that in certain situations, ‘being saved’ is what the word salvation is reduced to. My question today is, “Where do you experience God’s salvation in daily life, now?”

Let me give you an example of experiencing God’s salvation. Ben, a boy of about 3 yrs of age, invites Sarah, his godmother, to dance with him to a Wiggles song on the DVD on the television. He does not know that Sarah  suffers from depression. He invites her to dance however. Sarah gets up and begins to dance and as she does so, she experiences a moment of knowing that an inner healing has taken place by giving herself to the music and the situation. She has moved from a place of woundedness and sadness, and being held by depression due to recent tragic events, to a place where she has experienced wholeness and joy. Sarah could see this situation as a gift of God and a moment when she experienced salvation.

In John’s gospel, ch 5 vss 1-9, Jesus invites an unnamed crippled man who sits beside the pool of  Bethesda to be healed. Of course he would want healing we think. He has been crippled for 38 years (Jn 5:5). That’s why he has had his relatives bring him each day to sit beside the pool. But if he accepts the invitation by Jesus to get up and walk, it will mean a total change in his lifestyle. It will mean no longer saying to people: “I am the man beside the pool crippled.” How he views himself and his identity will change by accepting the healing. An uncertain future is opening up before him. The same invitation was offered to Blind Bartimaeus when Jesus said to him: “What do you want me to do for you?” (Mk 10: 46) The rich young ruler who came to Jesus asking what must he do for eternal life was offered the invitation to leave finding his security in his wealth and to trust God in everyday life (Mk 10:17ff). Attached to the invitation by Jesus to be healed or set free is the disturbing thought that one’s life will not be the same again. Salvation will bring transformation – and change. Although willing  to acknowledge their crippled  and  blind states, the man beside the pool of Bethesda and Bartimeaus were totally unprepared for Jesus turning up and bring with him, salvation into their particular situation. (See also Zacchaeus, Lk 19:1-10)

Sometimes people we meet are so wounded and hurt that they are crippled. They  constantly retell their story as, “I was injured by this event or person and I no longer feel as if I have control over my life. I have lost everything, even my sense of identity. I am so defined and scared by this event or person that I cannot move back to a place of health again.” How do we encourage these people to move to a place where they experience freedom from their crippling story? The key lies in them experiencing  Jesus coming into their life and bringing his salvation/healing.  In a particular situation of their everyday life, when they experience his presence, they are able to experience his salvation. So what we could do is ask them to learn and notice when God invites them to experience his salvation in their everyday life, just as the cripple beside the pool was invited to experience God’s salvation unexpectedly in an unexpected way. The crippled man expected the waters to be stirred  forming little waves indicating it was now possible to be healed -  if he got into the water in time. Instead he got Jesus helping him to his feet;  healing him and setting him free from his past. This was his moment of salvation/healing.

Often though, we use inappropriate substitutes to fill the hole and to banish the pain which cripples us. A common one is to seek long and deep intimate conversations with a few friends to temporally numb the pain and daub the soothing balm on our wounds. They provide much needed support. But if we stop and look at what’s happening,  we’re avoiding the issue (of our crippled and hurt life), and using our intimate friendships to put a band aid on our wounds. If it is pointed out that we are relying on our friends too much or simply using them to avoid facing the pain within which cripples us, we reply in anger that we need these friendships, they are what keep us going.  However, they are really bringing us each day to the pool where we sit waiting for a miracle to happen.  In effect, they are colluding with us in allowing us to maintain our status as a victim. But we must be willing to surrender this false identify and allow God to approach us and invite us to be healed.

Another inappropriate solution to our pain and the feeling of being divorced  from God is to do what Elijah did. Following his confrontation with the prophets of Baal and their slaughter on Mt Carmel (1 Kings ch’s 18-19), he became exhausted and afraid for his life due to threats made by the queen of Israel,  Jezebel. He embarked on a search for salvation but used an inappropriate means to grasp it. He went down to Mt Horeb (also known as Mt Sinai), where God had appeared to Moses and given him the ten commandments. Did Elijah find what he sought by going to Mt Sinai? No he didn’t. He expected to be re-commissioned like Moses or given some new gift to bring back to his fellow countrymen, but God wasn’t in the fire, the roaring wind which split the rocks, or the cloud. It was the small still voice that God’s voice could be heard. This became a moment when Elijah experienced God’s salvation in the small still voice of God. God was alive and present to him and his needs.

On particular practice I’ve found useful is to read Scripture with our imagination. Using our imagination, we place ourselves in the scene and enter into a dialogue with Jesus. (This is commonly called the Ignatian method.) The following meditation and exercise is designed to train your eyes and heart to become more aware of when and where you experience God’s salvation in your daily life.

Read the story of the crippled man in John 5:1-9 several times until it becomes quite familiar.

Imagine that you are the crippled man sitting beside the pool of Bethesda.

What does the surrounding area look like? What are the sounds you can hear? Is it hot or cool? What  can you smell or touch? Are there any other people with you? Who are they and what are they doing?

You see Jesus coming in and approaching. What does he look like? He turns and sees you. How do you feel?

Then Jesus says to you, “Do you want to be healed.” What do you want to say to him as a result of this question? Spend a bit of time talking to him about his question. Then Jesus invites you to take his hand and to get to your feet and take your mat home. You accept his offer and get up. How do you feel now? How does it feel to be walking with your mat home? What thoughts are going through your head? Do you like being healed? What are you expecting tomorrow will be like when you wake up in bed and realize that you won’t be going to the pool to sit beside it for the rest of the day?